friends doesn't come easy

hey. frustrated now. seriously. my friends are negatively thinking about me.:/ i hate it. so yeah. hmm. i've tried to be honest as i can. they still won't believe me. they thought aku pandang rendah on one of my friends. i was frustrated. i never look down to people and say i'm the best. that's really mean i say. pfffffft. -.- second. me and my bestfriend Stephen were around this joke. i said to him "amy has a crush on you" and stephen doesn't believe it. OFCOURSE! it was a joke! DUUH! =.= life wasn't anything. it sucks alot

da-ih-leyh bho-of-oth

it's dailybooth. 

a place we post pictures about our lives. it's fun if you're a vain one.

Photography

hey. i'm inlove today. with my camera. hahaha. 

"we captured moments" - photography club's motto. lawa ih.

we've learnt alot today. even though i'm not a newbie. i'm good. ;p bah off

iloveeyouu

fuck off bitch!

the picture says it all. rude lady, baru jua kau year 7 bah. kan diantam, masuk disiplin. alum kau kenal kediaku ani ah. be'fuckyoufuckyou' tia. alum ku takut

Cody Rolland ♥

hey people. i know the last post i sound worst. well. i got a phonecall from him. do i miss him dearly. i did. his voice was really deep at first i didn't know who it is. so yeah i kept asking him. and it was him. my heart stop beating and my mind was blowin up with the song called Please Don't Go - Mike Posner. i was smiling and we didn't said a thing. he messaged me after he hung up. i frowned and replied him why i was asking tadi. so yeah.

Cody Rolland and Riley Grimm - 2010

i miss this guy. alot. ambung dah ah. kamu kenal ia right? erika's dream man. ;p he's my cousin. usually he was the one i'll be asking for advice although it ends up getting the worse conclusion but he was the best advisor i ever had. so yeah. now he's all sombong for having his nikon camera and i hardly see him. i saw him yesterday and he went like "JAS! kenapa kau inda tagur aku lagi?" and i went "MIR! aku tunggu kau tagur aku." i went to his house yesterday. we were telling eachother's our stories. he said he wanted to be a proffesional comedian and photographer. and i said "well, goodluck with that" with the day ending. i hugged him and his brother. i miss them both. he's cody. erika's cody. so today, we just talking about how much it hurts and missing cody. bye now.

iloveeyouu

p/s. realised how orange and green makes a gay colour. pffft. -.-"

you're all i think about

tomorrow haven't arrive and i'm lonely here without you by my side. i got dumped, crash, burnt, left, weaken, fooled. i wasn't really prepared for this. i didn't knew that the day would come. i really thought he was the one but this was few days back and i finally crawled out of my shell to tell you guys this.

i'm named as single again. and i felt betrayed. i loved him truly. and he just got away. he told me that his love for me was fading and that was the first i heard a guy i loved more than my life say that. i never been so broken. i was sick without him. i've been having insomnia a lot lately. i even been called to the hospital but i'm partially fine. i cut myself just right next to the wrist. thank god, my sis went into the room accidentally and stopped me. i wasn't thinking straight, i wasn't myself, i wasn't anyone. i feel dark nightmares crept into me and tell me i will never be loved. that made me scream at night. 

one night, i was screaming like bella when she lost her edward. well i was just being crazy. but i was screaming. it's more kind of a loud grunt. i smashed my stuffs to the floor. i burnt all the printed memories and i burnt the pages of my journal that's all about him. i couldn't take another second to see his name or even to say it. or think about it. my brother brought me to my cousin's house on the other and along the way, i saw him. but it wasn't him. he was smiling at me and sending me a flying kiss but as soon i've reached the traffic light, it dissapears. i was torn apart to see him gone. what was thinking to let him go.?i didn't know anything at all. i didn't respond to my teacher, parents or anyone. i was just staring at a blank space, thinking about the time we spent. 

i was stupid, i was dying. i've let him go. i love him truly and he wants me to stop it. how the hell am i gonna do that. i love you so much and i couldn't let you go that easily. i really wanted to be with you again but it seems you almost moved on. after a few days, i went to Ayamku. reminds me of the phonecall that made my day. i was saying I Love You first. i meant it very well. then the storm came. he told me to go alone and i wasn't prepare. i wasn't crying. i was screaming into my pillow. soaked it with my tears. my heart was ripped out, was been eaten by betrayal. it looked like a harmless love. i wasn't ready. and a big knife just sliced into me without my notice and all i manage to do is just smile. smile tearfully, holding the pain, let the blood go but it won't stop. i tried to ignore it but the more i ignore the more the pain comes. 

i've been asking myself, what shall i do? should i call him for a go back? or just leave him like that? Should i inbox him or should i let him go. and i did let him go but i tried to called a thousand times, i tried to message all the time but none of my nerves are ready to talk to him or even text him. i've been writing alot of " I Still Love You" but it wouldn't change a thing. i wanted yesterday to come but sadly, we can't change time.

I STILL LOVE YOU DEARLY and I NEEDED YOU EVERSINCE YOU LEFT ME. and all this time, i've been thinking about you and how i could be good enough for you and now you told me you was just testing me. i couldn't believe my eyes. you haven't trust me yet. it's awful than i thought.  my tears was pouring blood out, i couldn't stand to reply this but my guts are telling me to. so i did but i was extremely dying. i was in the stage of another goodbye before a hello. it pains you inside if someone you loved doesn't trust you and you trust them completely. i get my heart broken so many times but this is the worst.i was left and told i'm not trusted. and now. i just don't know what to do. i'm lost. help me :'(

i hate goodbyes.

I'm Hameezul Asyraf's To Keep.

Big Big Bang

Inbox (_)

hello guys. life is about adventure and exploring. and answering question that we should answer. if it's appropriate. here it goes, plus i give you numbers.. :D

#67

-jas, kau kenal kan si izzat ex si bilah. gb durang kah?

  entah, maybe. kenapa kau jealous?

#312

-eh, kau kah di mall kelmarin ah. aku nampak kauah and teacher nurul nampak. tagurnya aku tia pulang

  yeah, yesterday ada ku. ada teacher wah? sorry ih. aku inda nampak teacher. aku sama my cousins bah

#701

-oi ambung! kan menanya ku. si qilah single masih?

  tanya lah ia sendiri biatch. ;pp

-tarustarus kau ah. inda papa. bah, karang tah ku mc ia ;pp

#148

-jaaaaaas! i misss youuu! kenapa kau inda melayan ah. jarang dah kau message aku and call. i still wanna talk ni. i got a prob dah. my bf ani bah fucked up. palui ih. reply me soon, biatch. ;p kidds

  miaaaah! sorrry inda ku melayan. been busy ah. aku rindu awak  jua. hahahah. i'll call you later if aku ada time. kenapa ia bf mu ah? jadi bitch lagi?

#1510

- oi, kenapa kau di sekulah ah. menjaling. mencari kelaie kau?

  eh, siapakan ni?

#174

- jas, aku dah siap bio ah. ganya gerenti jawabanmu ani pass?

  yeah, i think. aku tanya teacher apa yang ku inda paham so yeah.

#2601

-JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! BUDUH EH. parents ku ah, makin ku tagur stop kelaie makin tia pulang. eh! tempat mu ada kusung. i need a place to crash.

  bahbah. sabar eh. ada pulang but parents nada menyuruh. tidur pat jiran mu lah mun sasak dah. apa lagi durang kelaiekan ani?

#54

- apakan ni method stimulus ah. inda ku paham

  -.- tanya cikgu

#199

-jaz, apa nama youtube mu ah. kan ku liat video kamu be justin bieber ah. menipu kali kau!

  pffffffffffffffft. -.- cari saja kau jaasjanuari1. ada tu. 

#68

-jas, time pe kamu pakai sneakers kah? inda kana marahi?

  syer, inda jua. kami pakai sneakers eh. jangan saja bawahnya licin.

#1411

- hey, is it true that you're an ex of justin bieber?

  who the hell are you? 

p/s. inda.;pp kali.

# 2312

-jas, bila lagi kan tidur di empire. cikgu dah booking tempat on march pulang. inda kau bejalan tu on that time?

  dah cikgu booking? awal jua. aku belayar kalibah. siapa saja ikut?

#87

-uh, hey jas. buleh kau jadi spy on my gf pat sklh mu ah? aku ani risau sikit nyamuu.

  bahbah, i will. ganya kalau ia setia baik kau beranti cari spy untuk gf mu ah.

#147

-inda kau pernah beranti update status mu kah? sasak ku meliat. everytime, everywhere mesti nama mu jua.

  inda eh, kenapa sasak kau? bitch .|. block tia aku ah.

#138

- eh, aku dangar kau ani couple dengan urang soas. banar kah tu?

  awu eh banar. ngapa kau?

#129

- dude, aku dapat baju linkinpark ah. ada spare mau kau? ganya it's large

  wadapak, bagitia aku! inda ku kira size ah, i'll grow into it. bagi eh!

p/s. i love linkin park

#314

-jas, ngapa time new year inda kau kerumah ku. aku invite jua kau dah?

  aku di KK ah. aku celebrate sana.

-ada kau minum?

  dude, aku beranti dah bah.

-owh, siuk tah sana?

  siuklah.

#217

-oi, hw maths ah. dah kau photocopy

  bukan lagi photocopy. dah ku antar, aku bagitau kau jua kelmarin. kau inda mendangar

#126

-hello, aku farhanah. year 7. adik si mirul. kaka bekawan kan sama abang ku?

  hai lai. awu. aku bekawan dengan ia kenapa ia?

-ia masih besigup kah?

 .....

#319

-hello my little niece. when are you going back to new york?

hello aunty beth. i'm not sure. when we got full money i guess.

#610

-JASMINE! kau awethumeee!

hahaha thanks. kau pun!

ani ganya durang inbox ah. nada lain.pffffffffft.

kthxbye! :)

may God take this pain away

i don't know who to tell when you're not here.

it's like you're ready to lose me. i love you from the bottom of my heart and i always wanted to be with you from the very start. i may took this from somewhere but i truly meant it.

Md Hameezul Asyraf, what part of "you're my life" don't you understand? i love you so much. further than that

i love you. i don't care any dude who tried to flirt. if you leave me. the world will never be the same. i'll be dying, i'm hurt. i'll be crying all of my life and i never forgive myself to lose you.

Hameezul. i don't care how much i've said this. I LOVE YOU and i meant it very well. i never been unfaithful to you. i don't wanna. i wanted to be your best and i'm trying so hard to be one and you kept saying that i am but i really hope i'll be better than that. I LOVE YOU. i wanted to be with you all the time. i never wanted to lose you. please forget about what they say and think about us. what are they thinking? who the hell knows and who the hell cares. what we have now is real and i never had this feeling. I LOVE YOU WAY TOO MUCH. 

remember our first inbox. we were talking about playing numbers and about our lives. you said you had a crush on 85. my heart was smashed into a concrete wall, to a billion pieces. i didn't know you that well but i swear i loved you since then. don't ever leave me. i promise you, i'll try hard enough to be your bestest and i wanted to be your favourite hello and your lastest goodbye. i've seen this word somewhere else but i meant it. 

ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU

him is my past and you are my future. don't you leave me this way, i love you once and i'll love you forever and nothing's gonna change that. fate will decide our love, and i sure hope that it blesses us and may Allah bless our loved relationship. 

i love you md hameezul asyraf bin hj yusran/nasri.

don't leave.

may this engrossing feeling go away.

i love you truly hameezul.

as I said, I said, he's my one.

hello people. went to granddad's house. as in. Aaron's and Cody's House. ada kind of gathering. awal pagi. still sakit hati tu. i had puffy red eyes and my mum said "you look miserable. wash that off" i was like pfffffffffffffffffffffft! i'm broken hearted! what am i supposed to do? 


then at noon kami makan samasama on his restaurant. i had spaghetti but i refuse to eat it. i couldn't eat. :/


then i liat my facebook and ada Inbox (♥) i was psych and really hoping it was hameezul. and guess what. it was him! my heart pounded so fast and i could wait another second. i was so afraid to click the INBOX button, but i clicked it anyways and i found this.

i was crying my eyes out and accidentally fell of the chair. my mum was asking, "behapa kau tu? main mobile saja sampai kan tegugur. beulah kau ani." it's like i fell through a deep hole and landed on a soft pile of pillows with a strawberry scent. then i was being swept off the ground with my charming prince. well even it was a mystical dream, that is how i felt when i saw the word forgive. i love you Meezul and nothing can change that.


 who owns my heart? It's you baby.  

iloveeyouu

don't tell me it's too late to try, to make it right

worst night ever. i'm really sorry for all the mistakes i've done. i know that i'm not perfect but i really wanted to be so perfect for you. cause you're everything i ever needed and i wanted you to be my partner for life. i love you no matter what and i wanna be with you now and next year and whatever comes after that. so i'm asking, if you could honestly tell me, that you love me too.

Md. Hameezul Asyraf, i love you so much! i really do and i never wanted to lose you for a little misunderstanding. i'm not the type of who reluctantly breakdown because of this little situation but with you i felt different. i really want you for life.

to be honest, i will always love you the same way i do now. 

that textmessage wasn't supposed to be sent. it was just a little letting out feeling thing.

 i'm really sorry. i trust you, i trust you 100% and please forgive me. i will cry myself to sleep tonight

this is officially my worst night ever. i really wish i could make it right. right now. i really wish that i could run to your house, break off everything that's on my way and just hug you and tell you that i love you this much!. :'( i love you. i never wanna lose you meezul

Hameezul. You're My Best Among The Others. You're My Everything now. You're Apart of My Life. 

i'll die without you.

this is how much i love you